Post by Woody on May 12, 2006 5:47:02 GMT -5
Hi all,
Just a couple worthy of passing on.
After 6 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to
summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory
on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type
of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of
danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are
put into motion:
Routine....
1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes
dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along
with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man
who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...
5) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals
with the situation.
Important again:
7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine......
8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,
sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off". And,
upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no
pleasing some women.......
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St.. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on .... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
Supporting the New Start Scanner appeal www.charity.transplant-online.co.uk/
Just a couple worthy of passing on.
After 6 long months of cold and winter, we are finally coming up to
summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory
on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it's the only type
of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an element of
danger involved.
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are
put into motion:
Routine....
1) The woman buys the food.
2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes
dessert.
3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along
with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man
who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
Here comes the important part:
4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...
5) The woman goes inside to organise the plates and cutlery.
6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals
with the situation.
Important again:
7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine......
8) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins,
sauces and brings them to the table.
9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off". And,
upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no
pleasing some women.......
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St.. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on .... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
Supporting the New Start Scanner appeal www.charity.transplant-online.co.uk/